15 Signs Your Marriage Will End in Divorce in California? 2025

No one enters marriage expecting to go through a divorce. Still, there are often signs that a marriage may not last if you know what to look for. Recognizing the 15 signs your marriage will end in divorce in California can help you better understand the commitment you’re about to enter into and take steps to remedy those differences, so your marriage stands a strong chance of weathering life’s challenges.

1. You Avoid Each Other

When spending time together starts to feel like a chore, something isn’t going well in the relationship. Avoiding meals, conversations, or even eye contact signals emotional withdrawal and is one of the earliest signs of an unraveling relationship.

2. You Sleep in Separate Rooms

Physical distance usually follows emotional distance. Though many marriages work with separate sleeping quarters, it can lead to divides that are harder to repair.

3. Fights Never Get Resolved

Every couple argues, but conflicts usually end with resolution. When they do not, this pattern can erode trust and make the next fights even worse than the last.

4. One of You Controls the Money

If one spouse controls all the accounts, sets the budgets, and hides financial activity, that can create a power imbalance that often drives the other partner away, especially when there are multiple areas where transparency is a concern in the marriage.

5. You Lie About Little Things

Even small lies show a breakdown in trust. When partners feel the need to hide harmless truths, it usually points to deeper dishonesty elsewhere.

6. There Is No Physical Intimacy

Marriage doesn’t need continual physical contact and intimacy, but any marriage that is completely devoid of hugs, kisses, and handholding may suggest that the romantic bond has collapsed.

7. You Think About Being Single Again

If you regularly daydream about life without your spouse, you may be mentally checking out, even if you haven’t left yet.

8. Your Friends or Family Don’t Like Your Spouse

When loved ones consistently express concern or frustration about your relationship, it may reflect real issues you’re too close to see clearly.

9. One of You Refuses Counseling

Couples therapy doesn’t fix everything, but flat-out refusal to try shows a lack of interest in saving the marriage or even understanding the other person’s pain.

10. You’ve Stopped Planning a Future Together

If future vacations, retirement, or even next year’s holidays no longer include joint plans, that’s a clear signal your lives are drifting apart.

11. You Keep a Mental Scoreboard

Constantly tallying who did what, who hurt whom, and who owes more destroys goodwill. Healthy couples forgive. Tense ones track every wrong.

12. Divorce Is Used as a Threat

Saying “maybe we should just divorce” during fights is more than venting. It introduces the idea. For many couples, it opens the door that ends the marriage.

13. Your Kids Are Affected

Around 22.5% of children in California live in single-parent homes. When your children start withdrawing, acting out, or picking up on the tension, it’s a sign your marriage is bleeding into the family’s stability.

14. You Live in High-Divorce Regions

Orange County sees about 33 divorce filings a day, which is among the highest rates in the country. Living in a high-divorce area often means more stress, less community support, and easier access to separation.

15. You Feel Like Roommates

When your marriage becomes a silent partnership with no affection, no teamwork, and no fun, or you’re no longer building a life together. You’re just coexisting.

FAQs

What Is The 2 2 2 Rule for Marriage?

The 2 2 2 rule suggests couples plan a date every two weeks, a weekend getaway every two months, and a weeklong vacation every two years. This routine encourages connection and quality time. It does not guarantee relationship success, but it can strengthen communication and reduce stress. Couples who invest in regular time together often find it easier to resolve problems.

How Can I Save My Marriage?

Saving your marriage requires having open and honest discussions about what isn’t working. One or both spouses may have to make significant changes. If financial stress is at the core of your marital problems, you can work with a financial coach or consultant to find ways to improve your finances. Marriage counseling can often provide a useful platform to work through problems, or you may find help and resources through your place of worship.

What Four Behaviors Predict Divorce?

The four behaviors most linked to divorce are criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. Known as the Four Horsemen, these patterns erode trust and connection. When left unchecked, they create a toxic cycle that damages emotional safety. Recognizing these behaviors early and replacing them with empathy, active listening, and accountability can help protect a marriage from long-term breakdown.

How Do You Know When a Marriage Cannot Be Saved?

A marriage may not be salvageable when there is persistent emotional distance, repeated dishonesty, lack of respect, or unwillingness to seek help. If one or both partners shut down completely or avoid resolution, the relationship can stagnate. In California, many couples explore counseling before making legal decisions, but mutual disengagement often signals that separation may be unavoidable.

What Is Silent Divorce?

Silent divorce refers to a marriage that continues legally but lacks emotional connection or communication. Couples may live together and function as partners publicly, but feel like strangers privately. There may be no arguments, but also no intimacy or support. This situation often leads to eventual separation because the relationship lacks the involvement and care needed to grow.

Schedule Your Divorce Consultation Today

California’s divorce rate is 7.45%. If you’re starting to question the future of your marriage or recognize signs that divorce may be unavoidable, it’s time to speak with a trusted attorney. At Quinn & Dworakowski, LLP, we help clients throughout Orange County understand their rights, evaluate their options, and prepare for what comes next.

Whether you’re dealing with complex property division, custody concerns, or spousal support, our team is ready to protect your interests. Schedule your divorce consultation today to take the first step toward clarity, control, and a plan tailored to your future.

About The Author

Stephane Quinn

Attorney Stephane Quinn is an experienced divorce and family law attorney and Certified Family Law Specialist (California Bar Board of Legal Specialization). As founding partner of Quinn & Dworakowski, LLP, he focuses on fathers' rights, complex custody cases, and high-asset divorces. Admitted to the California Bar in 2010 (SBN #278188), he has been recognized as: Super Lawyers Rising Star (Since 2017) Cum laude graduate from California State University, Long Beach Juris Doctor from Fowler School of Law in Orange Fluent in French, Attorney Quinn aggressively protects clients' rights in Orange County family courts.

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