When parents separate, it’s often very difficult for their children. Custody cases and final custody orders can be complicated situations for the entire family, and children can react to divorces in many different ways. Ideally, both parents are able to work in their child’s interests, and the family can work toward a new future. However, parental alienation in California can be a major issue for some families.
When parents have especially contentious relationships, this can lead to disputes, damaged relationships, and even parental alienation. Parental alienation can hurt everyone in a family, especially children. If you believe that your co-parent is manipulating your child or children to be alienated from you, it’s essential to learn the signs and how to handle parental alienation. An Orange County, CA, Divorce Attorney can help you make informed decisions about parental alienation.
During divorce and separation, parents may disagree about how custody should be assigned, and children may distance themselves emotionally during this difficult process. These behaviors and actions don’t always indicate something as serious as parental alienation.
Parental alienation is a deliberate manipulation tactic used by one parent to get a child to fear or dislike the other parent. While a divorce or separation is ongoing, this may be done to attempt to win more custody, as California courts may take a child’s wishes into account. After custody is decided, parental alienation may be used to modify the court order or simply to get back at the other parent.
A parent engaging in parental alienation may say and/or do some of the following:
Parental alienation can happen even when the parents are still living together, and it can lead to psychological harm for the child involved. When these actions are adopted by a child, it can have a long-term effect on them.
A parent’s negative actions are not the only impact of parental alienation. The effect on children can be startling and upsetting for an alienated parent, who may see their relationship with their child change very quickly. It can be difficult to determine when a child distances themselves because of their normal reactions to the situation or actions caused by the other parent.
A child who is harmed by parental alienation may exhibit behaviors such as:
Parental alienation harms an entire family, and it has an especially damaging emotional and psychological effect on children. It can hurt their relationships with both parents and result in developmental harm. A child may refuse to see the alienated parent entirely.
In many child custody cases, the court looks for patterns of behavior that show whether a child is being influenced to fear or reject one parent. While some emotional distance is expected during or after a divorce, deliberate manipulation by one parent, such as constant criticism or refusal to comply with custody orders, can amount to parental alienation.
The court’s primary concern under California child custody laws is the child’s best interests. If a judge determines that a parent is intentionally undermining the other parent’s relationship with the child, they may modify the custody order or require supervised visitation.
The family courts deal with these and other critical issues. In Orange County, where 6,340 child support cases were opened in fiscal year 2024, parental alienation can affect how the courts view one parent’s ability to co-parent or even their fitness to parent at all.
To address alienation effectively, it’s essential to hire a child custody lawyer who understands how to present evidence and advocate for your relationship with your child. From reviewing communication records to working with mental health professionals, a qualified attorney can help you build a case that demonstrates how your parenting time is being compromised.
This step is especially urgent if you’re part of the rising number of fathers seeking custody or more parenting time. Across the U.S., approximately 80% of single-parent households are led by mothers, but courts in California are increasingly open to shared custody when it supports the child’s well-being, as long as both parents are not engaging in parental alienation or other acts that could harm the child.
Even when the court rules in your favor following accusations of parental alienation, healing your relationship with your child takes time. You may be required to participate in reunification therapy or attend supervised visitation sessions.
While these steps can feel slow, they offer a structured way to rebuild trust and connection. Your ability to remain patient, supportive, and focused on your child’s needs can make a lasting difference in your long-term relationship with your child.
California allows for summary dissolution under the “5-year rule” for qualifying couples, but most custody arrangements require more detailed planning and involvement. If you were one of the 17.77 per 1,000 married women in California who divorced in 2022, and you’re now dealing with a contested child custody arrangement, it’s important to act early to protect your relationship with your child before any long-term damage is done.
By working with an attorney familiar with California child custody laws and family court proceedings, you can take meaningful steps to counter parental alienation and safeguard your role as a parent. Rebuilding a relationship after parental alienation requires more than just legal victories. It demands emotional resilience and consistency.
Children who have been influenced may struggle with confusion, guilt, or loyalty conflicts. Sometimes, the help of outside therapists can play a positive role in facilitating reunification efforts.
Regular, positive interactions, whether in person or through messages, calls, or shared activities, can slowly restore the parent-child bond. Reunification doesn’t happen overnight, but with professional guidance and unwavering support, progress is possible. Focus on showing up for your child in meaningful ways that reflect stability, care, and an open heart as trust is rebuilt.
A: In California, parental alienation is not considered a crime. It can still impact a custody and visitation court order, however. If a parent can prove to the court that parental alienation is occurring, this may enable a modification of a court order or alter an active custody case. State courts hold the child’s interests as a priority and do not rule favorably for parents who engage in parental alienation. The court order may alter custody, limit visitation, or require counseling.
A: Proving parental alienation may be done with evidence such as:
A: Child Protective Services (CPS) may be necessary to protect children from parental alienation, but it is not always the ideal call. The involvement of CPS could potentially cause your children further stress, but if the situation is severe, CPS may be necessary. Modifying or enforcing a court order may be another option. An experienced family law attorney can help you review your options and your family’s situation. Then, they can determine the ideal solution for your family.
A: If you see potential signs of alienation from your co-parent or child, the first step for some families may be to talk about it. If you can discuss the situation with your co-parent, you may discover that they were not trying to alienate your child and need to reevaluate their behavior around them. However, this is not possible for every relationship. If you feel that parental alienation is occurring, work to maintain consistent contact with your child and uphold your strong relationship. Be sure not to engage in the same actions, and note evidence of parental alienation.
Addressing the difficulties after divorce or separation is already complex, but it can be made much harder when there is parental alienation involved. If you are a parent dealing with the effects of parental alienation, it can be difficult to know how to address and prove the issue in custody court. The experienced attorneys at Quinn & Dworakowski, LLP, can help you review and gather evidence of alienation. Contact us today. Our team has 40 years of collective legal experience in family law, and we want to aid you during this sensitive and highly emotional case with effective and caring legal support.